Comparisons are Futile

I've often wondered what anyone truly gains from comparing themselves to others. What is the fruit of comparison?

Let's not confuse comparison with inspiration. Inspiration is born from admiration, not comparison. Comparison, more often than not, gives birth to jealousy. Jealousy comes first, then blurred vision, self-sabotage, unnecessary strivings, and finally discontentment. Comparison is, indeed, the thief of joy.

Let's face a simple human reality: we come into this world alone. No two people, not even identical twins, are born at the exact same moment or under the same circumstances. No two people share the exact same background or past. My experiences, struggles, circumstances, and journey are uniquely mine. Even now, you don't feel what I feel, just as I don't share your present reality. Our fingerprints, irises, and genetic constitution are all different, so that men may see and realize that they are unique and totally different from each other.

So yes, stop using other people's successes or choices as a point of personal reference. What do their successes subtract from yours? How do their failures make you better? Everyone has their own path. Focus on yours.

Two people receive Christ on the same day. One makes progress till the point of being used by God, the other backslides. Same gospel, different results. Sarah, the mother of Isaac, laughed in doubt at the angel and was spared. Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, also doubted, yet he was struck mute till his son's birth. The same God, dealing with different people in different ways. Even children shall not be punished for the sins of their parents (Ezekiel 18:20).

My friend, God deals with everyone differently. You are unique in God's eyes. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord (Jeremiah 29:11). God has plans for you. You are special, just as you are. Please, stop the comparisons and competitions.

What Then Should You Do?

1. Accept Your Realities

My brother, my sister, accept who you are. Progress starts when truth is acknowledged. Accept the fact that you were not born in a rich home. Make peace with your past. Own your mistakes. They're yours. Make peace with what you've become. Accept what you are today. Progress begins when you confront and accept your realities. Your own choices brought you here. Settle the past. Make peace with the wrong choices, those who hurt you, and the broken relationships.

We all have regrets and mistakes we're not proud of. Everyone chooses what to do with theirs. Some, through repentance and faith in the Lord Jesus, cast theirs into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19), while others carry theirs on their heads from one place to another. If you repent, God will forgive you, cleanse you, and make you His child (1 John 1:9, John 1:12). Your choice.

2. Repent and Move on With God

Yes, you failed. Yes, things feel scattered, but there's hope. If you're reading this, then you're alive, and where there's life, there is hope. God still loves you, but hates your sin. He still has a good plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11). No matter how dark the night has been, there will be a morning. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it (John 1:5).

Resolve at once, by God's help, to break off every known sin, however small. Nothing darkens the eyes of the mind so much, and deadens the conscience so surely, as an allowed sin. A small leak will sink a great ship, and a small spark will kindle a great fire, and a little allowed sin will ruin an immortal soul. Take my advice, and never spare a little sin.

— J.C. Ryle, Thoughts for Young Men

You can repent from all sin and receive the Lord Jesus right now, in your own words, or with a prayer like this one:

"Lord God, I have personally sinned against You in my thoughts, words, and actions. Nothing that I do on my own can take away my sin. But You loved a wretched sinner like me and sent Your Son Jesus Christ to die in my place on the cross. I recognize that only Jesus can save me. I now surrender my life to Him completely. Take away all my sins and come into my heart right now as my Savior and Lord. I will follow You at any cost. Thank You for hearing my prayer and saving me."

If you have prayed that prayer sincerely, then Jesus has come into your heart and you have become a child of God.

3. Do What You Must Do Today

Now that God has forgiven you and buried your past, you can start again today. Take that professional course. Apply for that program. Decide to be serious academically. Stop that unfruitful relationship. Learn that skill. The present choices affect both the present and the future, so do everything that must be done today, with urgency. Identify what you have to do, do it, and move on to the next.

Remember that the Lord knows you and loves you just as you are. Focus on your relationship with Him. Make peace with what went wrong, and move on with Him today. "Draw near to Me, and I will draw near to you" (James 4:8). Only He really matters. Be inspired by others, without competing with them. Iron sharpens iron, and two shall chase ten thousand. May God bless you as you put things right and move on with Him. Shalom.