And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
— Romans 8:28
I've spent the past weeks deciding whether I should really write this. Some experiences are simply hard to put into words, and I did not want to hand mine over before I understood them. At least, I do now.
The last six months have been filled with a couple of "aha" moments, but they have also been the most humbling. There were incredible acceptance letters, research opportunities, conferences, and announcements that made people celebrate with me. Behind every one of them was a second story that almost nobody saw: sleepless nights, expenses here and there, anxiety, and quiet battles fought long after the congratulations had been posted.
In six months, I submitted two visa applications and appealed both refusals. All four answers were no.
1. COSYNE 2026, Lisbon, Portugal
I received a fully funded opportunity to attend the Computational and Systems Neuroscience conference in March 2026. COSYNE is one of the largest gatherings in computational neuroscience, and I had been looking forward to it for months. I prepared every document, every form, then visited the embassy for the first time. I waited with hope, which is its own kind of labour.
Then the visa refusal came. It was heartbreaking. The Bible was my only coping mechanism. I read Paul's epistles, and by God's grace, I found solace. A few days later, I wrote to the program organizers and we began an appeal. I traveled to Yaoundé and submitted it, because I believed the opportunity deserved a second look. The appeal was refused too.
2. A Research Internship at EPFL, Lausanne, Switzerland
Then a glimmer of hope. I was selected for a research internship at EPFL, one of the leading research institutions in the world, out of roughly 5,600 applicants worldwide, an acceptance rate of about 1.2%. Little did I know what the future would hold.
I encouraged myself, shared the news with family, and marched to the embassy with all enthusiasm and Nahum 1:9, only for the visa to be refused again. We appealed. We waited months. The appeal was unsuccessful. The lab chose to keep working with me anyway. That decision meant more than I can put into words. Thank you, LiGHT Lab and Professor Mary-Anne Hartley.
3. IEEE EMBC 2026, Toronto, Canada
Our paper was accepted at the world's largest biomedical engineering conference, and I was awarded a travel grant. By then, I simply did not have the strength to begin another visa application.
4. OneMath World School, Maryland, USA
I was invited to attend the OneMath Summer School in Maryland. Again, I never submitted an application. I wanted to spare my family and friends the stress of hoping with me one more time.
5. ELLIS ML Summer School, Manchester, United Kingdom
Accepted, with funding. But then I remembered the UK's visa restrictions on applicants from Cameroon. The opportunity was no longer realistic. Everything ended there.
Handling each of these moments was hard, and I thought I'd come to the end of myself. Looking back, I realize this story isn't about rejections, but about learning to still trust and love God even in life's darkest moments. What's the essence of trusting God only in the good times? Isn't He the God of the mountain and also the valley? Doesn't He let trials come our way to strengthen our faith (James 1:2-4)?
Somehow, I presumed this season would make me bitter. I expected the refusals to steal my joy. But that hasn't been the case. Instead, I've learned to treat people with more patience, to be merciful, soft, tender, and above all, humble.
God reminded me, patiently and repeatedly, that my identity was never attached to ephemeral opportunities. Those things are blessings. They were never my foundation. Christ alone is.
To You Reading This
God has not abandoned you. Trust His timing. He still cares. He loves you. His word is still true, even in the loneliest times. The same God who is with you in the waiting will be with you in the breakthrough. Keep working. Keep believing. The best is yet to come.
To Those Who Stood By Me
To my family, thank you for the sacrifices, the prayers, and the patience. Thank you for believing in me even when the journey became hard to explain. To my mentors, collaborators, and friends who kept encouraging and praying for me, I'm deeply grateful. Some of you will never know what a single message or call meant on a bad day.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
— Jeremiah 29:11
God knows you. He loves you. You're special to Him. Accept Him into your heart today and make Him your satisfaction. He's sufficient. God bless you.